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Gray Hair


A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that my hair has begun to turn gray.

What am I supposed to do with this?

Three years ago, I shaved my beard because it was almost entirely gray and people were telling me it made me look old. Now here comes gray hair – as in the type on top of my head. And, short of shaving my head – which I think would be a big mistake on several levels – or getting a dye job – another potential train wreck – I’m stuck with it. So, I need to be okay with it. And I think I am.

Here’s why:

couple in loveFirst, it seems to be happening very gradually, so no one will be shocked. Likely, no one will even notice until it’s been here a while and settled in.

Second, if it looks anything like my sister’s silver-gray hair, it will actually look pretty cool – distinguished, as they say.

Third – and this is the most important point – it’s me. As I really am. And that’s what this blog is really all about. Being oneself.

I went through the pain and risk of coming out at the age of 55 because I had come to the point where I couldn’t live someone else’s life any more. Living out, as I really was, had become the only option for me.

I came out, aware that I was stepping into a subculture that puts a high premium on youth and beauty, two things I didn’t have a great deal of, but also aware that I really had no choice. If I was going to be sane and happy, I was going to have to come out.

As I’ve said many times in this blog, I’m very glad I took the step. So many things in my life are so much better, it amazes me that I managed to hold out as long as I did. That said, my age has definitely had an impact on my social life. It’s harder to find eligible men at my age. If nothing else, the pool is smaller. But there’s also that youth and beauty thing. I know men my age who are still chasing twenty-somethings. Not me. Not that I’d turn one down necessarily, but youth and beauty aren’t my main focus.

And that gets back to the business about being myself. I’m David at age 61, gay, out and beginning to go gray. I’m taking things as they come – and that includes my hair. I’m fine with it.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. MARGARET ELLIS permalink
    03/07/2013 9:27 AM

    David, you are a fabulous looking guy. Whatever your hair color.

    • 03/07/2013 9:42 AM

      Thank you, sweetie!

  2. 03/07/2013 10:20 AM

    Dude, you made it past 60 without a gray hair?! Rock on! OWN IT!

    • 03/07/2013 10:27 AM

      Rockin’ on as we speak.

  3. 03/07/2013 11:49 AM

    David, I admire you to no end. This is an excellent and honest reflection that will be read and appreciated by many. To know that one is not alone is a priceless and, indeed, life-saving gift. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • 03/07/2013 11:50 AM

      I’ve shared your post with others.

      • 03/07/2013 11:58 AM


  4. 03/14/2013 10:23 AM

    Preachin’ to the choir, my friend!

    You know, I didn’t even notice that my hair color was turning “sophisticated gray” until a few months ago when a student asked a library colleague if she could speak to “the librarian with the gray hair.” Imagine my surprise! After helping the student and sending her on her way, I went into the bathroom and had a long hard look at my graying temples. No, it wasn’t the awful florescent lighting in the bathroom (which I blame EVERYTHING on) …… by golly, I DID have gray hair. It was a moment of truth and truth be told, I had been in denial for some time. But ….. I just have to remind myself, it’s not on the outside that matters, it’s what is on the inside that counts most of all. Rock on, Sir David.

    • 03/14/2013 10:34 AM

      Well said, thanks. Rocking on.

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