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Remember to shave your ears!


If you’re still in your 30s, you probably don’t need this post. Unlikely you’d be considered a late bloomer anyway. But if you’re 40 or more, you do. You don’t have to be gay, either. Looking your best is pretty important for any guy – gay or straight – who’s out there on the dating scene. But, I think it’s especially important for the gay late bloomer. Like it or not, you have joined a community that places a high value on personal appearance. While you can’t do anything about the size of your ears – mine are way too big – you can make sure they are well groomed.

Any guy who’s made it to 40 and beyond is probably aware of the dreaded wandering hair phenomenon. Hair leaves places you’ve had it since puberty and shows up in other places – places you don’t want it. Like in and on your ears. And on your shoulders. Your eyebrows start to get a little crazy. And sometimes those old nose hairs go wild, too. All true for me, plus my once-furry ankles are all but smooth now. Hate  that!

So, what do you do about it? Well, obviously, you get out the hedge clippers and fight back. A couple of years ago, I got a nifty, battery-operated nose/ear hair trimmer on-line for about $25. It works great. I use a beard trimmer on my eyebrows and a plain old razor to buzz around my outer ears. It’s best to have light source behind you when performing this last task. Otherwise you can’t see ’em, even if you know they’re there.

As for the back and shoulder hair, it doesn’t really hurt my feelings – on my own shoulders or someone else’s – so I’ve remained pretty relaxed about this. But some guys get all bent out of shape and shave or wax. Fine with me. It’s a personal choice, which may or may not be influenced by someone you are trying to impress. But it only comes into play when your shirt is off. I’m focused in this post on what the guys can see when you stroll casually into a bar. Or the LGBT Chamber of Commerce meeting.

And it goes beyond body hair. This basic approach ought to follow through to every other visible part of you. You don’t have to get all crazy about it, but pay attention. Make sure you get a good haircut – which may mean stepping up a notch from Super Cuts. Make sure your clothes actually fit, and look as well-groomed as your head now is. And get fabric- and color-coordinated. Need help with fabrics and/or colors? Ask a gay guy. It could be a nice ice-breaker. Or if you have an ex-wife you’re still on good terms with, ask her.

All of this goes back to basic self-esteem. Your appearance reflects what you think of yourself. A peacock may think too much or to little of himself, but a slob obviously thinks too little. A nicely groomed guy says to the world, “I care about myself. I’m worthy of your basic respect.” And I’m here to tell you, boys – that works wonders on the dating scene.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 06/25/2010 12:13 PM

    YES! i’m part of this club myself, more on the level of infant stage. I’m constantly playing with my ears to attempt to feel for any hairs. It is not sexy in the moment of passion to feel a stiff, coarse hair with one’s tongue!

  2. 06/25/2010 1:36 PM

    You make a very good point. I had only been thinking about the visuals.

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