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What will people say?


One of the scariest things for me as I came out was worrying about how the news would be received – by gay people.

I know this isn’t true for everyone, but I’ve been fortunate to move in business and social circles where being gay is no big deal, or at least it’s less of a big deal than it used to be. Once I was sure I was gay and there was no going back, I wasn’t terribly concerned about what my straight friends and acquaintances would say or do. Most of them have been happy for me. I’ve been a member of the downtown Nashville Rotary Club for eight years. We have over 400 members, some of whom are absolutely ancient, and most of whom are politically conservative. None of them who know me seems to give two hoots in a high wind about the fact that I’m gay. A good thing. And pretty much what I expected.

What had me all freaked out was what the gay folks would say. I’ve had a lot gay acquaintances, and a few good friends, over the years, most of them here in Nashvegas. Among them are some who do the bitter queen thing. You know the type: catty, cutty, smarty, gossipy, occasionally tragic and sometimes unpleasant – especially behind your back. I just knew I’d get the eye-roll and the question, “Well, sweetie-pie, what took you so long?” And I’d feel all guilty and apologetic for not coming to my senses sooner and letting them fight all the battles, and blah, blah, blah. Blah.

Well … it didn’t happen. Maybe it happened behind my back, but I just can’t work up enough energy to give a shit about that. To my face everyone has been nice. And a great many have been very warm and welcoming. As in: “Come on in, honey, the water’s fine!”

And the one’s who aren’t so nice? Screw ‘em – not meaning that literally, of course. Well, actually, I might … it all depends … let me get back to you on that.  For the moment let’s just say to hell with ‘em.

A lesson for me in all this is the following: As much as it may seem like it at times, especially when you’re wrestling with a big, scary life change, it really isn’t all about you. As a very smart woman I used to know put it once, “David, people are thinking about you a lot less that you think they’re thinking about you.”

2 Comments leave one →
  1. cloverbell1280 permalink
    06/13/2010 2:07 PM

    BLSG (Big loud spontaneous guffaw)


  1. Out. Proud. Rotarian. «

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